BlackjackBoy

It is the day my girlfriend died, or I should say, the day she killed herself. What an awful and a horrible day today is. Probably the worst day of my life, seriously. I still feel like vomiting, as if my stomach is going to be exploded. My entire body feels like it wants to crush into pieces, with all the despairing guilt. All the shocks that I received today is too much for me to believe, and I still cannot believe that whatever happened is true. My girlfriend committed suicide today, because of me. When I heard the news that she killed herself, I could not even cry because it was too scary and unbelievable. Someone killed herself because of me. Never in my life did I imagine such thing would happen. I feel hopeless, and want to seek for help. Find someone to talk to, cry in front of them, and confess all the regretful things that I have done to my girlfriend. First, my parents do not even know that I even have or had a girlfriend. And...

"Somebody...help me...!" I try to scream out loud, but I am only mumbling to myself. I am lying down in a deep wood, with muscle spasms all over my body. My entire body twitches in pain, as blood gushes out everywhere from my opened fleshes that has been cut and stabbed by knife. "Ah... Fuck..." I try to sit up but to no avail. Karma : a person's actions seen as affecting their future fate I remember reading the meaning of karma in the Oxford English Dictionary a long time ago. When I first read the meaning of karma, it was very logical to me. However, I totally neglected it. "Karma karma karma is looking for you What you gonna do when they come for you Karma karma karma is gonna find you What you gonna do huh?" This lyrics just pops up in my mind. This lyrics is from CL(2NE1)'s solo song, MTBD - Mental Breakdown (멘붕). Whenever I heard the song, I asked myself whether I should believe in karma and do good things. So that ...

It was a gloomy and a rainy afternoon. It was after my final exam, Biology was over. I had to study like a crazy kid who was born to study . I had to give up my online gaming, phone and many more. There were several thunder strikes during the Biology exam, which was somehow making me feel worried, as if something bad was about to happen. But I told myself to stay calm, and not to be scared. This was it, I studied so much for this paper, and I had to do it well. I did managed to finish the paper, and I felt refreshed as the teacher collected my Biology paper, which I would never see it again in my life as it was a national exam. My friends were excited like the small kids who just received their chocolates after finishing their untasteful vegetables. They were all planning to go to PC room(LAN - Local Area Network) to play their usual online game, LoL(League of Legends), which they did not played for months. I was actually planning to just go back to my ...

Countless crowds were staring at me with worried and frightened facial expressions, as I was being dragged harshly by two policemen. They were dragging me to a guillotine to behead me. The reason was because I was rich. What an utter bullshit reason. My fate was fucked up.                                            As I was being dragged, a few young kids gave me a worried and teary look. Many of the young kids were those who I knew, they were the kids that I helped by giving food and even helping them with their school homeworks. I guess they knew that I was the unlucky one to be chosen to die unnecessarily. They have been aware of how we could be killed by getting our head cut off from our body. I bit my lips hard as the two policemen i...