Choices

I flip open my Math textbook to start doing my homework, in reluctance.
21 pages of Math questions to complete. Oh my god...
I check my school diary: two Physics worksheets, a Chemistry exam paper, Geography Textbook questions and an English essay.
What the fuck...? What am I seeing?
How the hell am I suppose to complete even half of those homeworks?
I know I am a freaking school student, and my current job is to study. But isn't this too much?

Seriously. How will doing so many of these Math questions, like Trigonometry and Differentiation going to help me in my future life? Unless I become a Math teacher, which I won't.

I try to solve a few Math questions. After solving around seven questions and skipping a few questions which I do not know how to do, I start to feel very tired. Forget this Math homework first. I am going to die if I continue. I guess I will start studying Physics textbook before start doing the worksheets.

'Specific latent heat of fusion of a substance is the amount of thermal energy required to change unit mass (e.g. 1kg) of the substance from solid state to liquid state, without a change in temperature.'

'Total internal reflection is the complete reflection of a light ray inside an optically denser medium at its boundary with an optically less dense medium.'

'Faraday's Law of electromagnetic induction states that the magnitude of the induced e.m.f. in a circuit is directly proportional to the rate of change of magnetic flux in the circuit.'

.....What? What the hell are those definitions suppose to mean? I don't understand a single shit.
Oh my god...save me please, any Gods that are out there. Why, why, why do I have to study???

Throwing my Physics textbook on my bed, I read through Chemistry questions.

First question, I don't know how to do. Second question, same. Third question, I don't remember learning it. Fourth question, I don't understand. Fifth question,,,I DON'T KNOW!!!

Seriously fuck my life. What should I seriously do? I really do not feel like studying, at all.
Lying down on my bed is totally going to make me sleep. Sigh...
I lean my face on my Chemistry textbook, and closing my eyes, I think of the choices that I have.
What kind of life can I have with my own decisions and choices?

A

Fuck this study. I am not going to fucking study anymore. My one and only life I have right now, I am not going to be stressed everytime by doing things that I hate to do, studying. I am going to enjoy myself.

I am going to completely stop studying. Let me play my online games all day, go to PC rooms (LAN - Local Area Network) everytime with my friends, go out with my friends to play, watch movies and Korean dramas all day long, and 'sit and stare' & daydream like an idiot. So what if people tell me that I am a retarded and a hopeless failure, I don't give a fuck. I still enjoy my life this way.

After a few years.

I am now sitting down on my bed. Failed to enter any University. Of course, my parents totally gave up on me, they decided to put in more effort in raising my siblings instead. 

I found a cleaning job. The pay is damn low, and I am the only fucking young blood in the place.

How shameful I am, still using those puny amount of money that I earn to buy games.

My life is meaningless now. I am going to turn 30 soon. Just simply enjoying my life, by playing and relaxing. Living through my pointless life, I foolishly expect something to happen.

B

It's like, what can I do? I still have to study. My life is going to fail if I do not study.

But,,,I am not going to be so stressed and serious with studies. Just going to do at my own pace, sleep and play if I want to. But I will still study and try to complete my homeworks.

I have my Examinations next week. But still slacking and studying at the same time.

After solving one Math question, I use my phone to watch Korean drama.

After reading through a bit of my Physics textbook, I use my phone to chat with my friends.

After writing one sentence for my Geography structured question, I lay down on my bed. And I fall asleep.

I 'somehow' studied for 10 hours in my room, but I think I studied the same amount as my friends who concentrated and studied for 30 minutes. 

Well, my Examination results are horrible, some failed and some passed.

I enter an unknown University in the countryside.

I got an unpopular job, and the pay is low.

Still managed to get a girlfriend, who also has a low pay.

I married her, we are going to have a child, and I am going to live a simple life.



C

I slowly lift my head up. There is no choice. All my friends study, and everyone have to study anyway. There is no point in complaining although I really hate studying. I guess I have to put in more effort to study and try my best to complete my homeworks on time. If I feel tired and feel like playing, I will fight myself to overcome those momentary feelings. I will play with my friends appropriately, and have calm friendships.

Although it is not of the best standard, I managed to complete my homework...damn it I am so tired.

My Examination results were fine.

I enter a decent University, and met many new friends.

Now, I am trying my best again to get the degree that I want. With all my friends as hardworking as me, I am actually enjoying my life now.

If I had not overcome my momentary feelings to slack and play, I would not be here right now, studying hard to achieve my goal with my friends. Putting in effort in studies did pay off, and it is really worth it. Since I tried my best, I do not regret where I am now.

D

I lift up my head fast. Suddenly, something hit me. I need to study. I HAVE TO STUDY!!!

I am not even smart, and I have to start being hardworking now to win my peers.

I will not lose to my friends and classmates. Who are they, seriously? I am good enough to win them.

I start to study like an insane guy, even during recess and free periods in school.

I start to ignore my friends. Even when they talk to me, I get irritated and give them extremely annoyed face. Studying is the only thing that matters to me. Having friends is useless.

I start to lose friends, and they don't even look at my face now.

I don't care. I have to study. If my Examination results are bad, I am going to hate my life.

My Examination results were fairly good. But I literally have no good friends now.

Well that is fine as I entered a good University and got a job that has high salary.

Even at my work, I am trying my best to be better than others, and achieve even higher ranks.

I am crazy. I guess this is what people say: endless desire. But what is my uttermost goal?

Still working crazily like an insane guy, I become a slave of my own meaningless desire.

E

Hahaha! I start to laugh. I know studying is important, but studying is not my entire life.

I want to and am willing to try my best in studying, but I think I need to know what I want to do in the future, and make good friends. Studying everyday is going to make look odd, and it is not the only way to be successful in life.
I will study just like everyone else. Maybe I will put in a little bit more effort than others.
I will also be concentrating in making good friends, and definitely enjoy socializing with my friends when time is right.

With decent Examination results, I enter a fairly good University with a lot of my close friends.
I manage to find a girlfriend, and we love each other.
Although it is tough at times, it is still fine as I suffer together with them.
There are so many people who respect each other, and I am happy working towards my goal with my friends, and my girlfriend.

F

I open my eyes. What is my problem? What is so special about studying?

I have no rights to complain about studying. And I cannot get angry at my friends or even at my parents because of study-stress.

It is of course true that people get sensitive due to studies. But I will not.

I will study smartly and do my revisions well, but I am still going to appear normal, smile at my friends, and treat people nicely. Everyone can have good or bad image, and that depends on their choice.

We can choose to accept and understand our difficult situations and continue to show positive images to others. Whereas we can choose to show negative images to others when we fail to accept the challenges that we face.

Failure and hardship is what everyone have to experience, to be successful in life. Therefore, I choose to be positive and have an open mind. I will accept what happens to me and always try my best in whatever I do, in order to achieve my dream in the future. 

I am now an adult. I believe my life is successful.

I have achieved my dream. I became a/an _________, which was my dream.

Hardwork shows the truth.

Having a positive mindset in my life allowed me to make and keep many friends and receive countless compliments from many people.

*********************

I woke up.

Oh shit. I actually slept? Haha.

I better start studying again now.

A few hours after studying, I prepare to sleep.

As I lay down on my bed, I thought of the 'dream of choices' that I had.

Hmm...well I guess my choice would be...

♬

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Your life depends on your own decision!
What kind of life do you wish to have?
Which one of the choices would you choose?

Cheers,

Jun