"Jun, you have wasted an entire year man. Ha." Theodosius Ng said, intending to make a mockery out of me.
"Oh well๐ฒ" I responded in a cool manner, being unoffended.
Just to give you guys an idea of who or what Theodosius is, this is a rough explanation of him. He used to be a friend of mine, whom I have cut off contact as I decided to cut off toxic people from life [Updated, 2020]. He is born in 1998 November. Or maybe in December? Somewhere around there. He is the person who is walking down the "ideal life path", a smooth one which I wish I had. Most guys living in Singapore who is in his age should have finished army by now, or be finishing soon. (Yes he finished his army service in 2018)
Theodosius is someone with a slow-paced life. He is smart, good in studies, naturally gifted in English, naturally skinny no matter how much he eats, and has a good sense of humour. Which is compensated by his average looks and bony body shape, as well as an insensitive & insensible personality. (Okay I know I just used the word 'compensate' wrongly but you get what I mean)
To me, an ideal life path would be to graduate from Junior College/Polytechnic, then enter army in a few months, and after finishing army, have a few months of break before starting University
Me? A 1997 October boy who hasn't even served army yet. And yes, like what Theodosius said, I did technically "wasted" my 2018. What is even the meaning of having a "meaningful" or a "wasted" year anyways? I believe that for youths (<30), they should be spending their main time in a school, studying for whatever that will lead them to their next path in life; a university, degree, job or so on. And that is something that I didn't do in 2018. Or more like I couldn't do.
Well, me being a retarded douche and not studying in my Junior College (High School in western term), and retaining a year there is my problem. So leaving that aside, most guys born in 1998 or 1999 should have enlisted to army in 2018 (Around January, April, or August). So I should have enlisted in 2018, either in Singapore or Korea. But as my Permanent Residency (PR) in Singapore was pending until mid-year, I couldn't enter Korea as well as Singapore army. (You need to serve army in Singapore once you receive PR, and I also couldn't enter Korea army since my life in Singapore was uncertain)
...and that's how I could do "nothing". In the process of applying for Universities with A Level results in March period, all my friends have already enlisted or were preparing to enlist. Me? I was just applying for universities. I couldn't even find a job as a foreigner back then. So how did I spend 2018?
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| I rarely watch dramas as they're too long, but I was too free so I watched a drama called "My Mister" which became one of my life dramas of all time |
Before I write down a long ass diary below, I'm gonna make it clear that I am fine now. Just that when I explain what happened, it may sound too negative, so please bear with me.
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| Right before I did LASEK |
In 2017 December, I finally did LASEK (Laser Epithelial Keratomileusis) eye surgery in Korea. And I was supposed to write a blog review on it which until now, I haven't. Bless my procrastination. Anyways, to cut the whole process short, it was 2 weeks plus of hell as my eyes were stinging, and I couldn't use phone, watch TV, read book or do anything. Even now, my eyes feel dry or sensitive from time to time
Back in Singapore; I just spent my time doing nothing productive in January; met up with friends & exercised. My YouTube channel which had over 8200 subscribers got terminated without any notice due to copyright violations regarding the uploads of Running Man variety show and short clips of some Korean movies. What a harsh lesson learnt not to upload Running Man & movies on YouTube..
Video link:
Donated my blood too. Hope it saved someone's life. The fact that I'm healthy enough to donate my blood should be something I should be grateful for (gotta be positive)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3-czAYiuHA&list=PLVjQR4vG4ptdVAvWeP34xMRdHGaQ_Lu-I&index=7
In March & April,,, those 2 months were probably one of the worst months of my life. I wrote a blog post about it, so please do check it out if you have the time. I always appreciate anyone who reads my boring posts, thank you in advance. Overall, I received rejections for every single shit; University applications, job applications, relief-teaching applications, debit card applications, etc.
In May, I got my first official part time job as a foreigner at a beer restaurant in Holland Village. Although the people working there were generally toxic, it was a good experience overall. Learned how to pour beer, handle rude customers & rude working people, and process card payments. Also wanted to write a blog post regarding my working experience, but I've decided not to do so as a courtesy to the restaurant. You're welcome, to whom it may concern
Also, I got a role in a MDIS final year project film. Met new friends and had a great acting experience. I believe we all should continue with our own hobbies from time to time
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| I have officially quit all forms of social media this year |
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| I was forced to do what was not in my job requirement; giving out flyers in the public with this big ass poster on my back. Honestly they should be thankful that I never complained |
In May, I got my first official part time job as a foreigner at a beer restaurant in Holland Village. Although the people working there were generally toxic, it was a good experience overall. Learned how to pour beer, handle rude customers & rude working people, and process card payments. Also wanted to write a blog post regarding my working experience, but I've decided not to do so as a courtesy to the restaurant. You're welcome, to whom it may concern
Also, I got a role in a MDIS final year project film. Met new friends and had a great acting experience. I believe we all should continue with our own hobbies from time to time
Video link:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0XHs5z2uOA&list=PLVjQR4vG4ptdVAvWeP34xMRdHGaQ_Lu-I&index=8
Donated my blood too. Hope it saved someone's life. The fact that I'm healthy enough to donate my blood should be something I should be grateful for (gotta be positive)
UPDATE 2020: I got injured while donating my blood in 2020, and I couldn't move my left arm properly for almost 2 months. After this experience, I will not donate blood again.
In June, I went back to Korea again to spend time with my grandma. I'm thankful to have a few friends who would meet me right before going off to airport
Met my Singaporean friends in Korea too, which was pretty awesome.
In July, I passed my driving test in my first try and got my license. Guess this was my first luck in 2018 apart from getting that MDIS film role
I also learned to make some cocktails at home.Gonna make Pink Lady for my first girlfriend
In August, I did pretty nothing much after quitting the beer restaurant job. Yup, wasted my life away while my female friends have already started their universities. I sent off one of my closest friend to army
In September, this is when my life started becoming better after getting PR (Permanent Residence). I got a job at a Korean dance studio in Beauty World. My position was required to speak Korean & English, and have good manners. So it was a perfect job for me for sure.
Of course I wasn't the dance instructor
I was just the cleaner HAHA ok just kidding. I was the counter guy who managed money, enquires, schedules and so on. Even though I was just the counter guy, I think I could've been called a manager too cos the full-time dance teacher called me a "Manager"๐. My Korean boss was super nice to me, and I got close to the full-time dance teacher who was super nice as well. That's why I cleaned the place everyday even when my boss didn't told me to
I went to Batam trip with 2 of my friends. It was my first official overseas trip with friends, excluding Korea
I enjoyed Batam really much; affordable massage services, hotels, shopping & food. 10/10 will go againwith my first girlfriend
In October, I turned 21. It was the second time in my life to have an official birthday party as I'm usually too shy to have one; it's nervous to be the "main guy" in the party you know
Thankful to whoever that came to my birthday party and even gave me presents. A few good quality friends over hundreds of hi-bye friends
I also went to F Club for the first time with my long-forgotten group of friends
In November, I attended my ex-neighbour and tutor's wedding. Happy for her. Meanwhile, I continued working at the Korean dance studio happily
In December, I went back to Korea again to see my grandmommy as I would be enlisting in 2019 January, and I probably can't go Korea for at least a year. Oh, and this is when my disaster of "taking 24 hours to go Korea" happened. You guys need to check that out..
Ate lots of good food and spent my time well with my grandma. Went to Sauna (Jimjilbang) alone too
It was sad to leave my grandma so soon and return back to Singapore. And I stopped working at the Korean dance studio too, as my boss told me to just rest before enlisting
And my close friends asked me out and treated me beer as they wanted to meet up with me before I enlist. How nice of them ๐
To sum up, even though I didn't make any academic progress with rejected University applications as well as "wasted my life away" without doing what the majority of my friends are doing (in fact, 99% of my friends are "ahead" of me), I did achieved some things
I tried my best to find a part time job as a foreigner in which I did after a month, I got my own debit card which took me over a month, I got a Driving License, I learned a bit of Chinese, I went overseas with friends, I continued my hobby of acting, and I got a job at a Korean dance studio where I had the opportunity to work with my country people for the first time.
Whatever I have done as mentioned above may not be that impressive, or considered as meaningful to others as I literally spent an entire year to do those non-academic things at the golden age of 21. However, if anyone else were to be in my shoes, how else could they have spent their 2018 more meaningfully?
So yes, I did try. I tried my best not to waste this year away and just do nothing. Whether haters or insensitive people say I have wasted my 2018 or not, I'm glad it's over and I hope I got mentally stronger from it
With my so-called tough life in 2018, I'm more prepared for 2019. I don't believe 2019 could get worse than 2018 ๐ช๐
Tried different hair colours for the first time throughout the year
I also appreciate my Junior College clique very much as I didn't expect to keep in touch with them after graduation. Even though I wasn't very happy when some of them were sharing their multiple University acceptance letters in our group chat, it was my fault to be salty; friends should share their joys with each other. But I expected them to know that I have been rejected in everything, so perhaps sharing such news were inappropriate. I'm glad I can meet them happily now ๐
To end off, 2018 was an interesting year for me, and I'm hoping that whatever I went through happened for a reason, or it is just meant to be. A friend of mine called Andrea showed me a video when I was devastated due to being "behind" ALL my friends:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6S9E0MVteEc
This inspirational video that a friend called Andrea showed me has actually comforted me a lot, and rang a bell in my brain. I realised I was really too myopic, and fixated with the mindset that I need to be on par with my friends.
And yeah, I have fully accepted the fact that I am indeed slower than others, and that that's fine. None of this is a big deal.
Adults or people who are more matured than me may tell me,
"SeungJun, when you grow up and all, you will realise that that one year which you've wasted in 2018 is nothing much."
Yes, they should be right and I do hope to feel that way in future. It's just that at the current point in time when I'm just(?) 21, this one year felt really, really long for me
I met my good friend's mom a few days before 2018 ended, and she told me many good advices and comments regarding how I spent my 2018. And she made me feel so much better and positive. So I'm really blessed to have such people in my life who would sincerely help me out, or just be there. I feel that I don't have the rights to complain too much ๐
If you're here, thank you so much for reading my diary post which may not even concern you at all. I do sincerely hope that 2019 will be a better year for those who are kind-hearted, and have been humble;
Cheers to 2019, [Update of 2021: 2019 was DAMN TOUGH FOR ME HAHA]
BlackjackBoy
In June, I went back to Korea again to spend time with my grandma. I'm thankful to have a few friends who would meet me right before going off to airport
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| At PC bang aka LAN |
Met my Singaporean friends in Korea too, which was pretty awesome.
In July, I passed my driving test in my first try and got my license. Guess this was my first luck in 2018 apart from getting that MDIS film role
 |
| Baileys Martini |
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| Mojito |
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| Blue Margarita |
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| Pink Lady |
I also learned to make some cocktails at home.
 |
| hey glenn |
In August, I did pretty nothing much after quitting the beer restaurant job. Yup, wasted my life away while my female friends have already started their universities. I sent off one of my closest friend to army
In September, this is when my life started becoming better after getting PR (Permanent Residence). I got a job at a Korean dance studio in Beauty World. My position was required to speak Korean & English, and have good manners. So it was a perfect job for me for sure.
Of course I wasn't the dance instructor
I was just the cleaner HAHA ok just kidding. I was the counter guy who managed money, enquires, schedules and so on. Even though I was just the counter guy, I think I could've been called a manager too cos the full-time dance teacher called me a "Manager"๐. My Korean boss was super nice to me, and I got close to the full-time dance teacher who was super nice as well. That's why I cleaned the place everyday even when my boss didn't told me to
I went to Batam trip with 2 of my friends. It was my first official overseas trip with friends, excluding Korea
I enjoyed Batam really much; affordable massage services, hotels, shopping & food. 10/10 will go again
In October, I turned 21. It was the second time in my life to have an official birthday party as I'm usually too shy to have one; it's nervous to be the "main guy" in the party you know
Thankful to whoever that came to my birthday party and even gave me presents. A few good quality friends over hundreds of hi-bye friends
I also went to F Club for the first time with my long-forgotten group of friends
In November, I attended my ex-neighbour and tutor's wedding. Happy for her. Meanwhile, I continued working at the Korean dance studio happily
 |
| My grandmommy in ninja clothes |
In December, I went back to Korea again to see my grandmommy as I would be enlisting in 2019 January, and I probably can't go Korea for at least a year. Oh, and this is when my disaster of "taking 24 hours to go Korea" happened. You guys need to check that out..
 |
| Soy sauce crab |
Ate lots of good food and spent my time well with my grandma. Went to Sauna (Jimjilbang) alone too
It was sad to leave my grandma so soon and return back to Singapore. And I stopped working at the Korean dance studio too, as my boss told me to just rest before enlisting
 |
| Played dart for the first time with my Secondary school friends |
 |
| thanks Serene and Kayla |
And my close friends asked me out and treated me beer as they wanted to meet up with me before I enlist. How nice of them ๐
 |
| My sad bro-sistar driving me to the hotel where I did my birthday party |
To sum up, even though I didn't make any academic progress with rejected University applications as well as "wasted my life away" without doing what the majority of my friends are doing (in fact, 99% of my friends are "ahead" of me), I did achieved some things
 |
| Became a Local Guide in Google Maps |
I tried my best to find a part time job as a foreigner in which I did after a month, I got my own debit card which took me over a month, I got a Driving License, I learned a bit of Chinese, I went overseas with friends, I continued my hobby of acting, and I got a job at a Korean dance studio where I had the opportunity to work with my country people for the first time.
 |
| Watched this movie with a girl that I liked |
Whatever I have done as mentioned above may not be that impressive, or considered as meaningful to others as I literally spent an entire year to do those non-academic things at the golden age of 21. However, if anyone else were to be in my shoes, how else could they have spent their 2018 more meaningfully?
 |
| Got braces in March |
 |
| My braces in December |
So yes, I did try. I tried my best not to waste this year away and just do nothing. Whether haters or insensitive people say I have wasted my 2018 or not, I'm glad it's over and I hope I got mentally stronger from it
 |
| My cousin was there to drink & talk with me during tough times |
With my so-called tough life in 2018, I'm more prepared for 2019. I don't believe 2019 could get worse than 2018 ๐ช๐
 |
| My Junior College clique |
I also appreciate my Junior College clique very much as I didn't expect to keep in touch with them after graduation. Even though I wasn't very happy when some of them were sharing their multiple University acceptance letters in our group chat, it was my fault to be salty; friends should share their joys with each other. But I expected them to know that I have been rejected in everything, so perhaps sharing such news were inappropriate. I'm glad I can meet them happily now ๐
 |
| Retook my IPPT (Individual Physical Proficiency Test) in Toa Payoh stadium to enlist |
To end off, 2018 was an interesting year for me, and I'm hoping that whatever I went through happened for a reason, or it is just meant to be. A friend of mine called Andrea showed me a video when I was devastated due to being "behind" ALL my friends:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6S9E0MVteEc
This inspirational video that a friend called Andrea showed me has actually comforted me a lot, and rang a bell in my brain. I realised I was really too myopic, and fixated with the mindset that I need to be on par with my friends.
And yeah, I have fully accepted the fact that I am indeed slower than others, and that that's fine. None of this is a big deal.
Adults or people who are more matured than me may tell me,
"SeungJun, when you grow up and all, you will realise that that one year which you've wasted in 2018 is nothing much."
Yes, they should be right and I do hope to feel that way in future. It's just that at the current point in time when I'm just(?) 21, this one year felt really, really long for me
I met my good friend's mom a few days before 2018 ended, and she told me many good advices and comments regarding how I spent my 2018. And she made me feel so much better and positive. So I'm really blessed to have such people in my life who would sincerely help me out, or just be there. I feel that I don't have the rights to complain too much ๐
If you're here, thank you so much for reading my diary post which may not even concern you at all. I do sincerely hope that 2019 will be a better year for those who are kind-hearted, and have been humble;
Cheers to 2019, [Update of 2021: 2019 was DAMN TOUGH FOR ME HAHA]
BlackjackBoy
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P.S. I was so free in 2018 that I played a lot of phone games LOL
gotta play lesser this year ๐